MAJORITY OF THE TIME

okay so its been a while again, but ive been happy, had nothing to complain about.
new friends, they brighten my day, make life so much easier up here.
new boyfriend, who majority of the time is great.
he is perfect, majority of the time.

so he can do what he wants, have a boys night whenever he wants, gets what he wants, id do anything for him, why cant he match it all the timeeE?

why is it that when he first see's me it takes him minutes to say hello instead of it being the first thing he does? why does he have to be so cocky and assume he gets every little thing that he wantss? what have i been doing wrong, nothing!!!!

but he has to be a J-E-R-K.

GAH FUCK IT.

happy as larry

hello.
so its been like two weeks i know, im shit at keeping this up, but i havnt had alot of time lately.
ive been heaps busy with school and shit. and finally i met a boy, who i think im falling in love with.

you know when you meet someone who immediately puts a smile on your face?
well thats him, he makes me so happy, and actually cares about me and shows it.
im with someone new, but it feels like i have known him for my whole life. he knows my story, and i know his. i care about him so much, all the little things he does just to make sure im happy, make him the best person i know.
he is incredible.

so i was'nt single for long, and of course the ex skitzed it and now pretty much hates me, which is okay because he is a fucking gronk anyway.

ive been partying heaps latelyy, which is a major plus.
met heaps of new really cool people and been really really happy!

well theres not much else to tell.'

boys, boys, boys

hello,
long time no chat, sorry about that..
whats been happening in my life latelyyy?/
well of course there are more boy troubles, they just keep getting worse and worse.
i broke up with my boyfriend, finally, but only for about 5 hourss!! he cried, i gave him one more chance, he knows that if he doesn't change shit by the end of the month, thats it.
he was meant to be at my house by now, still not here.. maybe hes still on his way back from tafe, i don't know, but i not calling him, if he isn't here by 5, i give up, cos that is fucked.

******, hes a new complication hahah,
hes great, he knows more about me in 2 weeks then my actual boyfriend knows about me in 3 months!! ive also spent more time with him in the past 5 days than i have with my boyfriend in 3 or 4 weeks, wtff?
hes great but, romantic, extrememly cute, and very charming, and he has a carr!!
but not now mary, i have to stop myselff!!

school, first week back, is... SHIT.
of course, i already have about 4 assignments!!
im missing sydney heapsss and heapss!! nina called me the other day, first time i have talked to her in about a month, maybe a bit longerr!! i miss her alot!

i know everyone has problems, and im always gonna be there for my friends who need me, whenever they need me, but does sadness need to be around at all times? don't we make you happy enough? it is somewhat a reflection on us, as if to say we cannot help you, or make you the least bit happy, whenever you need to be lifted up.

my photo is in the courier, it is horrible. i look like a spastic, and sound like a superficial BITCH!.
its so embarassing, and the photo is huge!!!!

anywayy, gonna go do my hairrr..

complications

complications come with everything.
why does it have to happen? why does everything need to be hard?

love, is a complication in itself.
i know i have talked about this before, but well i don't think i will ever fully understand it.
a guy wants sex as much as he wants right? well why can't they just commit to a relationship, and try hard for it? i mean they have someone to talk to and be with whenever they want (and they probably dont want but whateverr) and at some point in the relationship, they can have as much sex as they wantt! fuckin hell.

why do chicks have to feel emotions to a larger extent to guyss?
why do we have to go through all the physical and emotional pain?
if life was like it is in the movies everything would work out, everyone would find someone and instantly fall in love,and thats it. end of story, everyone would live happily ever after.

commitment sucks.

on a new topic, holidays have been oretty sucky too.
shit all has happened, there has been nothing to do at all.
i havn't been drunk in like two whole months, what kind of crazy shit is that.
assignmesnts suck too, so many to do, one due on monday that i havn't even startedd!
school on monday, dreading it!
i kind of wish i was on camp.

got photos from sydney developed, fuck im missing it there heapss!
being bored out of my brains doesn't help!
i plan on tanning soon, getting some colour, im getting pasty, well for me anyway haha.

thats all for now.

im just not that into you.. i dont think.

Okay, so i get that love is probably suppose to be compicated and all that, but its bullshit.



baby did a bad bad thingg..

i wont say what in case a particular someone by some crazy chance see's this.

but u get the gist of it.



things were going good, i actually missed him, the he had to go and fuck up again didn't he.

had to be rude, had to refuse to meet my dad, had to do the same old shit again.

then there was silence. and it not so much scares me, but worries me, i don't want to loose him, but im not sure if i want to stay with him, what am i going to?



"i don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence, the quiet scares me cos it screams the truth".



then theres the other one, who is still so lovely, and our very complicated relationship has only gotten better. but hes got me and another girl to think about, which doesn't bother me at all cos of course i have guy number 1 to think about.

okay i sound like a bit of a skank, but for those of you who know me, you know im not, but things are very complicated at the moment and i have no idea what to do.



does it ever feel like things are just going around and around in a circle?

i know bad metaphor but whatever. its just like im doing the same thing everyday,

and nothing is coming from it.



im missing sydney alot at this current time. ive got alot of time to think about everyone seeing as im on holidays, and there is absoulutely nothing to do during the day. nothing exciting anyways.



"life is like a slide show and all the places i got, and all the things that i know, through all the highs and lows. cause life is like a slide show, and all the things that i've seen and all the things that i dream, you can't take away from me, cause life is like a slide show".



Imagine if you could have your whole life put infront of you. everything you have been through, everything you have seen, everything you have done, everyone you have done, every memory you have ever enjoyed and hated and all the things we have coming for us, waiting. would it really change who we are knowing what we have in store for us?



maybe it would be a good thing, like it would ensure us that in the end everything will be okay, that everything does happen for a reason, that we aren't alive for nothing, that all the sadness and confusion that come with life all makes sense in the end. of course its meant to, but why can't we know our path before we go through it?



cigarettes. i need to quit them, its extremely hard.

extremelyy.

and i need to exercise more.



i love lyrics. iv'e been listening to msic alot lately, i don't think i could actually live without music.

its like a place to go when u feel like crap, or your just really bored, or in a really happy crazy mood, any mood, music can uplift you. and bring back memories, good and bad, but in the end, you always feel better, i think thats why singers are singers.



smiles all around.

the hangover tomorrow. yewwww.

back in north havenn

so i am back in north haven,

i was home, now i am here.

being back felt so amazing, nothing has changed, if anything

they have gotten better then when i left.

i had so much fun, i was like a little kid in a candy shop,

and i was sober, the whole time, except for the 2 pills haha,

but in my defense one of them didnt work, and the other one was only mediocre.

i was so sad to leave, i spent last night crying and missing everyone

sad i know. but i couldn't stop, they were just rushing out!!!

now im back i have alot to think about.

school work, so not looking forward to all my assignments.

boy troubles, what should i do?

he got me a present, dont know what it is yet.

have things changed, not so sure

do i still have feelings for the other one, YES.

its inevitable.

running into an old love changed me look on the whole thing.

iggy and i, everyone knows the story, old news, new drama all the time hahaha

but we are good friends, which is gooood.

anywhoooo, thats all for now..

arriving in sydneyy

brought the most amazing feeling of happiness and excitement ever!
as soon as i saw all the building i couldnt help but smile, and laugh!

it feels so so good to be back home!
seeing all of my bestfriends and hanging out with them,
it feels like i never left!!!

cant wait to get maggggot!!!
not really much to tell as of yet,
but there will be many stories by the end of the week im suree!!!